bathwater

dip me in by the toes

allowing the swell to cover the tops of my feet

I NEED - needed? wanted? to stay standing in that acid

<as long as the shower head was detachable>

because that burn was too familiar 

and in my agony lied a pain of My very own

 

orphaned by its Mother: who could no longer feed it

orphaned by its father: who could no longer look at it

 

and so I melted, flesh swinging, teeth swirled down the drain

and when my bones glowed bleach-white, I remembered My Name 

and I stepped in that tub, all bones and all nerves

curves cut like the jut of my jawbone, I learned

that that flesh was unnecessary - a hindrance at best

that when I undress, I must REALLY undress

and peel it all off - skin, blood and the lot

and sink in this bath all alone with my thoughts

 

And I cannot "feel" it - for my shower was acid

but here in this claw-foot I FEEL it, I HAVE it

this need to stay here, stay neutral and fine

and though I am just bone, these bones are all miiiine

and I'm loved - it's a miracle

having no face

without all my skin

and no I cant erase

what has happened to the heart I once held in this cage

whose spaces I can see right now clear as day

 

but it's ok because I'm here and the water is warm

and when it reaches my bones I'll know that I'm home