January 18, 2017

Date: January 18, 2017

Current Hairstyle: Box Braids

Emotional Climate: Fairly Good

Favorite Moment of the Week: When Syd made me laugh so hard in the elevator that I peed in my pants, and we had to take it all the way back up so I could change

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I am happy. I say this tentatively, almost afraid to express or say it out loud. I can't help but draw comparisons between myself now, and mysef an exact year ago. I find it scary how easily you can lose yourself, but I also have a renewed sense of gratitude that I was able to make my way back (crawling and bloody), but still here. I'm actually here, I'm in this bitch. For the very first time in a long time, I can actually say with complete and total honesty: it's lit.

MY WEBSITE IS LIVE!! I'm so excited, I could just shit. I can't share it online yet but I have shown it to a few friends, and cannot wait to post this shit everywhereeee. 

I've been spending most of my days creating and posting content for the site, and working with Syd to design it. It feels good to be busy, it feels even better to create. I'm not too sure how well received my site will be, but I do know how much work I've put into it, and how happy and proud I am to finally be able to put all of me, and what I want to show, out there for everyone to see. I'm lowkey trynna be famous.

Now that school is back, I get all my bitches back, and class is turnt as hell. Even the boring ones aren't that bad with my darkies with me. My social calendar has broadened so much that I find myself stretching amongst the friends I have from work, university, high school. It is exhausting in the best way possible. I breathe with a different kind of peace, and a real excitement for the future. I no longer have that crippling, awful feeling of stagnancy. I'm moving, growing, evolving. The creation of my site has refocused me, and my gut is telling me to go hard as hell.

I decided to document weekly journals as a way to remember, and track myself, my mental health and my feelings as I continue with this project. I have so many ideas of things to do and I feel the most capable than I have in a long, long, long time. I missed Chloe, but she's back now bitches.